Some sort of an abscense

I have not posted in some time unfortunately. Part of the issue is that I cannot seem to remember the password for the WordPress website!  Well, I opened the WordPress App on the tablet and I realized I am logged in!  Once I get the password, I have some good blog ideas coming.  Stay tuned and forgive the absence!

David

UPDATE 6/8/12:

I finally cracked my password!  I will be up and blogging tonight!!!

I am not Ashamed!!!

I ordered a micro fleece Snuggie tonight.  I refuse to be ashamed!!

I think the commercials are just stupid.  However, while on vacation, Mister’s sister had this amazing blanket with sleeves.  I wrapped up in when I was a little chilled and OH MY GOD I was hooked!  Not only was it incredibly warm, but I was not restricted.  I did not make coffee, knit, or play catch.  I was, however, quite comfortable adjusting my arms without having to adjust the blanket.

Despite the horrid marketing, this product is actually really good.  I should be a proud owner by the end of the week!  If you are a proud Snuggie owner, I would love to hear your Snuggie Success Story!

 

 

 

My blog around Troy Davis and Lawrence Russell Brewer

I am flying from the seat of my pants on the post.  Today, September 21, 2011, two people were executed in the United States.  My mind is bent.  I was listening to the mother of the officer allegedly killed by Troy Davis.  I could hear the pain in her heart, but I was shocked by the coldness.  She had no compassion.  It did not seem like she was talking about a person being put to death…more like throwing out an old shoe.  I am not judging her – a mother’s heart hurts worse than any other over the death of a child.  No, I only mention this because I see the same coldness in so many people who support the death penalty.

It disappoints me to see people place ideology over a human life.  No matter what your religion, how can you accept the responsibility of judging the worth of a person’s life?  How can you, in such passionate language, feel justified in putting another man to death?  Have we gone so far as to lack the ability to see the miracle of life being lived?  I do not know the answers, but it does seem like the response would not be positive.

I leave you with this:

All tremble at violence; all fear death.

Putting oneself in the place of another,

one should not kill nor cause another to kill.

 All tremble at violence; life is dear to all.

Putting oneself in the place of another,

one should not kill nor cause another to kill.

~Dhammapada 129-130~

I know what will be said, but remember this:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’^g But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor^h and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemiesⁱ and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

~Matthew 5:38-48~

At a certain point, there is just too much killing.

Maybe I am He Man

On Saturday, I went out to one of my favorite clubs by myself to meet one of my friends.  He didn’t show.  Not only that, though he was texting me when I got to the club and knew I was there waiting on him, he never informed me he wasn’t coming.  Beyond the fact that this was incredibly rude – I was hurt.  Yes, yes – being a Buddhist, I should have accepted it as the way things are and blissfully moved on.  I didn’t.

When I went out, I felt great!  I looked good, felt good, and was going to have a good time hanging out with my friends.  After getting stood up, however, I felt bad – ugly, unappreciated, and lonely.  My night took a nose dive.

Looking back, I can see that those feelings do not line up with reality.  Nothing about me changed that night.  From the time I left my home to the time I got back, I was the same adorable, fun, witty, and charming guy.  The only thing that changed was my perception.  I gave another person a great deal of power over me that night.  Well…no more.

“I have the power!” ~ He Man

I failed Saturday night.  I failed to hang on to the fact that I am an amazing person.  A rock doesn’t get upset when a bird shits on it, because the rock is not affected – it’s nature doesn’t change.  I intend to no longer be affected by the actions of others, because my nature will not be affected by them.  I have that power.

Maybe I am He Man…but I doubt I would look as dashing in a leather harness and bearskin briefs.

Intention

I started writing this blog and I realized I was falling into the same trap as the last time.  I was writing well (at least to me) and I was being spiritual and relevant.   And honestly, it was crap.  So, let me try this again.

Here is the deal:

I don’t pray.  I don’t think that there is a God or some external agent pulling the strings of the universe to make things happen.  It does not make sense or fit with my world view.

There is a rub, however.  I do believe in the power of intention.  It is quite reasonable to me that our thoughts create the world.  That is the first pair of verses from the Dhammapada:

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with an impure mind
And trouble will follow you
As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.
Speak or act with a pure mind
And happiness will follow you
As your shadow, unshakable.

Thoughts are matter and energy.  And like all matter and energy they can be focus towards a goal.  Matter and energy can be used to make electricity to light, heat, and cool our homes, or it can be used to make bombs.  The effects of the results are rather clear.

It is the same with our thoughts.  They can create positive or negative results.

So, I am experimenting.  Today I made the intention: “My ride home will be calm and enjoyable.”  It was!  All of the songs that came on the radio were just what I like to hear and there were no commercial breaks!  The other driver’s behaved just right and I was not held up by the lights.  Now, I realize this may be a self-fulfilling prophecy or maybe it  put me in the right frame of mind to enjoy the car ride home.  Either way, I had a pleasant experience.

What does all of this mean?  Really, I’m not quite sure, but there seems to be something to it.  If the intentions pan out, then there is no excuse for complaints and failures.  But, perhaps I will learn that my intentions are silly and wasteful.  Maybe I will see the futility in desire and fall blissfully into enlightenment.  And then again, maybe nothing will change at all…but I doubt that.

The Inaugural Post

I had a different blog once, and it was a fine blog.  I am proud of the writing I offered to the blogosphere.  However, it occurred to me that I was not writing in an honest, transparent manner.  I wanted to be seen a certain way and the writing was biased to that goal.  Now, it is time to be unashamed – time to show that I am human, faulted, but  trying.  I want to write according to a teaching of Rumi:

“Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.”

Understanding my world view requires that one know a few pertinent details:  I am gay, Buddhist, partnered, human, and not enlightened.  This is not an exhaustive list of my finer qualities, but it is a starting place and should provide at least a small insight into the nature and content of my writings.

The name of this blog was created by my partner.  The idea hinges on the definition of “incensed.”

1. Perfume with incense or a similar fragrance: “the aroma of sandalwood incensed the air”.

2. Make very angry: “incensed by the accusations”

Add to this that I am Buddhist and the concept of the this particular blog is born.

The last blog I maintained had a spiritual bent.  Though I stand behind everything I wrote, they blogs are not completely true as I was attempting, and I gather successfully, to show that I was a serious spiritualist that had his “stuff” together.  As much as part of that may be true, it is not a completely accurate picture.  I am faulted…as seriously as the rest of the world.

My hope is that I can show that being religious or spiritual and striving on a path does not make one perfect…it does not.  But, lying to yourself and others does not make you perfect either…it makes you a liar.

Now, here is the time for honesty.  A blog that was recently forwarded to me said:

“I hope you are ok with showing the realness of you, the combination of your rawness and your rawr, and while I don’t mind celebrating all the good things you present yourself to be, I want to celebrate you more, I’m ok with the dirt under your fingernails, and the fact that your bed’s not made. I love you, I love your mind, even the dark places, the awful places, the places that scare me shitless, I love those too, because they are you, they are part of the reason I reach out into the world every morning and try to make a connection. I don’t want to miss it, I don’t want to miss the connection between the you that you present yourself to be and the you you really are.”

I am afraid to show my realness.  But, that fear, more than anything, tells me it is time to express it.  If I want to feel the very real thoughts in the paragraph above, then I have to give that gift to myself first.

Read the blog, share it, like it, or hate it.  Whatever you do or think is none of my business, so here I go!

By the way:  My name is David.